TOXIC YEAR

Greetings from your homeboy, A. Heyyo, what's good everyone? I hope y'all are up to scratch and doin just sublime. Damn it, sorry for not issuing any shit for the past 6 months if Im not mistaken? Whatever, but damn gotta tell y'all time has been passing so brisk ffs. I recall my last update was about me nagging shit regarding how my first half of this year was. But hey, if you glance the topic of this post, I hope y'all are ready cs I'll be apprising how I felt during my second half of 2019 aka the most fucked up year ever...

A shitty year huh? Yeah, I've been through a lot, like damn a lot. From getting back stabbed by my best pal, to losing the ones that I treasure the most, also to having predicaments on governing my relationship with my friends also myself leading me to slowly losing myself. It's been hella of a year, a year that I want to omit. 

I've realised that yeah, I've been pleasing others too much till I've pretermit to focus on myself first. In other words, they took me for granted. To those who relished juggling with my heart & feelings I pray the best for y'all so that y'all know what to do and what to fix with yourselves. Any last words for them?  Sorry for being too harsh but hey, it's just me enunciating what I feel deep down inside. I'm exhausted of keeping and concealing.

So, what did this parlous year taught me?
- Trust no one, cs sometimes the one you trust the most could also stab you on the back.
- No one really stays unless if they want to. If they wanna go, let them.
- Don't change, but fix yourself.
- Appreciate those who genuinely appreciate you.
- Love and put yourself first.
- Dont let someone/something including your past affect you cs life tells us to move on, learn from the past so that it will never be betided again and finally knowing that past and future are two distinct time.

I've realised that what had been happening to me this year and for the sake of entering the new year, it's crucial for me to leave all these craps and bullshits behind. Let bygones be bygones. I'll make them as bitter memories for me to always induce myself that they're not gonna happen again and the 2020 Arif is different than the 2019 one. I 'm not letting my past to haunt me.

It's been hella of a year. It's a hard a pill to swallow knowing that those who gave you the best memories, become memories. It's devastating and dismaying. 

But hey, Chin up, everything happens for a reason. It's to make us stronger, smarter and more observant. To know the world better.

I've loved & lost but the most vital thing is that, I've learned.

Cheers to the worst, toxic & pathetic year ever. 

Btw, here's a rhymed verse to conclude my 2019:

So, this year has been definitely hella of a year,
I've been receivin shit from my damn fuckin hater,
Leading me to become weaker yet better,
But eventually don't give a damn dear.

Au Revoir tout le monde! 🌟

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