2021. A Normal Year.

2022?

Wait what? So you're telling me that 2022 is one day away? Is this for real? Cs yeah, my last update on this blog was about me expressing how devastating 2020 was & then, sshuusshhhh, here we are, counting moments before we go traverse into a new adventure, a new chapter & yes, a whole new year. I didn't see that coming. I gotta be honest, this whole thing of time flying so fast is terrifying. In just a blink of an eye, I'll be turning a year older, same applies to all of you who're reading this. It's crazy innit? What's crazier is that I just realized that I have 6 months more before transitioning myself to the next phase of life which is "ADULTING." Man's gonna forget what had happened in the past & have his own life after this, anticipating what the future has to serve him. Oh Lord, everything is instant & it's daunting. May we all have the might & the will to "continue writing our story. " 

So, How was it?

Shit, where do I even begin with.

Alright.

So, just like any other kind of wonted & genuine guy, I wasn't really hoping that this year would be a great or a better year despite all the heartbreaking ventures that I had to go through last year. You know all those kind of bullshit stuff you see on the internet where they will say "This year has been tough but next year is going to be my year." or "New Year, New Me" kind of craps. Yeah I know, it's ridiculous. From my inspection, I see no changes. No conversions. No transformations. People go through the same shit all over again. People repeat the same mistake without even realizing it. I don't blame you all for having resolutions, targeted goals or whatsover but let us all be realistic yeah? Unfortunately, today, we live in a world where the the society wants to only see the outcome, the results,  not the plans, not the fantasies that we've been idealizing for. It's a bitter truth that we all have to swallow & I'm sorry for that.

Alright, proceeding to what I want to share, yeah, after almost a year of staying at home, I then had to go back to Terengganu for my practical phase. Oof, those two months of being fake for the purpose of educating had truly thought  me to really digest this one world called "INDEPENDENCE". I swear to God, given all the circumstances such as not having my own transportation, living in a rural area which is quite far away from the main road to Kuala Terengganu also poor internet connection, like VERY POOR, I told myself that I only have myself to rely on & I'll have to be bold & strong to survive. I had to go to the school EVERY NIGHT to check my whatsapp messages & reply my snapchat streaks. It's pathetic I know. Oh yeah one more, my ONLY housemate who is a Sabahan, Marldred & I once had to walk almost 7 Kilometers to go to the main road so that we can BOOK A FUCKING GRAB to the town. Why didn't we booked earlier? Again I emphasize, the internet connection was very2 poor and the area that I was living at, only God & the locals know where the fuck that place is. FYI, it was during Ramadhan when we had to walk 7KM's. Yeah I know, it was demanding for the both of us but I'm beyond grateful for what I had gone through. Those 2 months were eye-opening for me. I've learned a lot such as stepping out from my comfort zone & exploring the capabilities of what myself is able to do. Having to deal with assorted kinds of behaviours in the classroom, I have to apprise that I kinda like being in the class, being the main attention to the students, acting, faking also telling & educating them on what they should do in order for them to be good human beings and make this world a better place for everyone in the future. I am also beyond contented that I've managed to build connections with the teachers, staffs also the people living in that area. It's what I do, I love socializing with people & my surroundings. I'm beyond contented for those two months.

So after two months of teaching, I then went back home. After two challenging months, I was very looking forward to return home & have good times with my loved ones & yes I did. Starting my holidays off with getting my 1st covid vaccine to binge-watching tv shows on Netflix, to reading books & finally reconnecting with my peers during our Independence Day also playing badminton almost every week. It was a normal holiday I can say but yeah it was quite stressing at first, specifically from June to August as we were all not allowed to inter-state travel due to the number covid cases that had been growing immensely. Do you all even remember that our country once recorded 23K covid cases in a day & Selangor itself contributed 8k cases. It's mind blowing & blood-curdling I swear. The things that I have took into account are during those months of staying home, I've managed to spend my time doing beneficial routines such as reading the most. Gosh, only those who know, know how much money I spent for the books. I don't mind, cs for me spending money on books is a life investment. 

And finally, the last two months of this year, November & December 2021. Yup, just two months. For the majority of people, they would think "two months" is only a short period. After almost 6 months of hibernating, I then had to go back to Terengganu for my short semester. For me, those two months in this year was EVENTFUL & IT WAS TOO MUCH TO TAKE. First & foremost, I would say these 2 months were the period of "reconnecting" with everyone & everything. When I meant everything, it includes all the toxicity that is there at the place. The judgemental society, the hypocrites & those buttinskies, OOF, I swear, sometimes I ask myself how did I even survive being at that place with those kind of surroundings for the past 4 years. Thank Lord for giving me the strength to endure all these nonsenses. Put them aside, yup, reconnecting. I've managed to reconnect with the people that I haven't properly contacted since March 2020. It's always good to catch on some old friends after so long. The untold stories that we shared with one another, those midnight shenanigans we had & the unforeseen problems that we had to go through, they were all wonderful & indelible. Those 2 months were actually fine & I'm happy. :)

What did I get?

This year has been colourful & I'm glad that everything happened. So, if you ask me "What did you learn from this year?", I would say, you won't really know who you are until you know what you're really capable of. Step out of your comfort zone, explore places, learn something new & interact with the society. I'm not telling you to be an extrovert. NO. I'm telling you to explore all the varieties that this world has for you.

I've also learned to be more emphatic & sympathetic. Listening to all the unbounded stories being told by my peers, damn, it's true what they say, "If you think your sufferings are too much, there are always people who suffer more." What they have to go through is simply onerous. I don't even know how I would cope with all the tough times myself if I were to be in their shoes. They've opened my eyes and massive respect & love must be given to those who've managed to go through all the miseries. It's okay for us to cry, for us to be fragile & for us to be vulnerable but remember, WE ALL ARE NOT ALONE. WE ALL ARE STRONG & WE ALL ARE LOVED.

Finally, I've learn to accept that "it is what it is." You can never change your destiny. The only thing you can change is how you respond to it.  Everything happens for a reason. People come and go. They either come as a present or leave as a lesson. You can't change that. You can't force someone to stay & you can't push someone to leave. Most importantly, it's you who decide what happens next. You're the author of your own "book". I believe everyone wants & deserves a happy ending to their story. Hence, never stop "writing".

All in All?

I would say 2021 was an eye-opening year & I'm grateful also happy for everything and everyone. It wasn't that impactful  as well as it wasn't dull. Everything was just fine. I ain't expecting  anything for the coming year cs yeah I know people, including my self will somehow repeat the same mistake without us even realizing it. So let's just see how this new year will serve us and I hope everything that has happened before can be transformed to reservoirs for us to become someone better & make this world a better place for all of us. TOAST TO A NEW YEAR! 🍻🌟