FAREWELL

The End of The Road.

5 years have passed & finally, today, I get to say the impactful word that brings upon thousands of meanings, a word which I believe a vast majority of people despise it as it puts a conclusion to every introduction and that is "Goodbye". Goodbye to my beloved classmates. Goodbye to my lovely futsal team, Gagak FT. Goodbye to Rangers FC. Goodbye to the juniors who I treat them as if they're my real brothers & sisters. Goodbye to my badminton gang. Goodbye to the people I spend my midnights talking about life. Goodbye to my fellow batchmates. Goodbye to my ex-housemates. Goodbye to 3 idiots. Goodbye to Port Matang. Goodbye to the people who I think would've, could've and should've stayed. Goodbye to the people who came into my life unexpectedly. Goodbye to the people who made me realize I had to be fake in order for me to survive and finally, Goodbye to the people who let me be who I genuinely am. You all had a major role throughout my 5 years of journey here. I thank each and everyone of you. Sincerely. 

I surely will miss those impromptu trips, midnight shenanigans, futsal/badminton, cafes hunting, paranormal activities, stargazing the stars by the beach, the all kinds of kepok lekor and celup tepungs, card games, the sleepovers also the meja batu session. Damn, I definitely will miss everything.

In 10-15 years coming, if people were to ask me how was it there in Terengganu? How has it impacted and shaped me to becoming who I am today? Here's my answer....

I've seen a lot. I've gained a lot. I've lost a lot but most importantly, I've also learned a lot. Started from a phase where I wasn't being myself, locking up myself in the room not socializing with people, feeling shocked with the new environment that I had to cope with, OOF, everything was shattering. Every single day I kept asking "Why the fuck here?" "How did I end up being here?". These questions were running around in my mind, leading to me weeping on the bed everytime before going to sleep. But thanks to God, He granted me with people who I did not expect will be a crucial part of my life & now, will be reminisced for the rest of my life. These people had taught me what a pure friendship is, guided me to survive and finally opened my heart to perceive and comprehend this world through a wider scope. I thank them all that today, I've learned to be more sympathetic and wholehearted. I learned that there's always someone who's luckier also there's always someone who's less fortunate than myself and this made me realize that yes, we shouldn't be comparing our lives as we all have our respected paces and it is our duty to follow them. Those people there came from divergent parts of the country, different backgrounds & cultures also variegated ways of perceiving the world and thanks to them, I get to know the world better and yes the world is indeed colorful.

What else? Oh yeah, I'm also contented with the fact that I get to explore more about myself. Terengganu has pushed me to strive harder, pushing me to my limits regardless how demanding the circumstance is. I've dealt with tons of shit there tbh, from dealing with the toxic surroundings, condemnatory society, also people who're best described as meddlers. The five years were onerous yet mind-boggling but I'm grateful that I survived and here I am, the finishing line. It's true what they say, it's either one thing you like the most or you hate the most is what you will think of and remember the most.

Finally, here are some major insights that I've managed to obtain throughout the whole 5 years expedition:

The first one is I can't expect or force someone to stay in my life. You know, every person that comes into our lives serve a purpose and they also leave us for reasons. It is our duty to realize that not everyone is meant to be with us forever. I always tell myself that people come into my life either as a blessing or a lesson but nevertheless, I'm beyond grateful for everyone who came. Again, you all had a major role in shaping who I am today.

Next, TRUST is what keeps your friendship alive. FRIENDS, these are the people who you should actually never break their trust cs they believe in you. I've been in a situation where my trust for someone was betrayed and I've also been in a situation where I betrayed someone's trust. Believe me, getting your trust broken/betrayed is the most heart-rending feeling ever. The devastation and disappointment hits you really hard. To the people who once I broke his/her trust, if you're reading this, pls forgive me for what I've done. I know I'm not a good friend but I want you to know that you've always been a good friend of mine. I truly appreciate your existence in my life. I respect whatever your decision is but always remember that I'm thankful to know you.

Lastly. Vulnerability & Transparency. I learned that it is okay for me to be vulnerable, to be fragile and to be honest with my feelings. There's no point of concealing what I truly feel. I'm beyond grateful that I was surrounded with people who were there lending their time, ears & shoulders listening to my devastations, listening to my unexplained feelings, reassuring me whenever uncertainty hits also calming me when my mind & heart were aching. I learned to be transparent with myself as well cs yeah, there's nothing that I should hide both, from & for myself. Never lie about what you feel cs it's you who know yourself the best. All those nights of opening up, sharing our past lives, flaws and misfortune events have truly opened my eyes and I'm glad that you all were able to unfold all the nightmares that you've been keeping and wanting to tell, WITHOUT JUDGEMENTS, WITHOUT CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION. Late night talks with you people is actually what I will miss the most cs yeah, I get to know, learn and understand you all better. Thank you.

All in all, I've learned about life. I really hope that with all the experiences and knowledge I've gained in Terengganu, they'll assist me on being a better person. Goodbyes are never easy but yeah, it is what it is. Soon, everything will be bygones and left behind. Hence, it's our obligation to move onwards. If destiny does decide to bring us back together in the future, I guess I'll see you again then? But if destiny has decided that this is the ending to our meeting, I must say, thanks a bunch & FAREWELL.

Yours truly, A.